How motherhood changed my perspective

Has parenthood changed your perspectives and priorities? What’s next after a baby’s arrival?

As a new mom, caring for baby was taking up a lot of my time, mental space, and energy. I was aware I had to care for myself if I wanted to have quality love to give my boy.

So I began asking myself these questions:

What creative outlet could I choose through which I could tell stories and keep my soul satisfied? What was next? Should I start a podcast? Write a new blog that wasn’t about travel? Pen calligraphy cards and sell them to specialty stores?

I had struggled to send off my latest short fiction to a literary journal in Singapore. The fight to get sixteen pages to a set of words that were editor-worthy had become a cause for stress, something that was competing with raising Niko, the son for whom I had waited eight years.

It left me wondering if my goal to keep furthering Filipino fantasy fiction was incompatible with being a new mom, at least until the day I was ready to send baby off to daycare or a playgroup.

Three thoughts were nudging me towards a new journey, to start writing about motherhood, and shift from travel and fantasy fiction.

First is the memory of a friend of my husband’s, who left a prestigious role at a global consulting company to help her conceive — she had been having trouble doing so. She has two sons now, and has since found new success in a family business related to the world of babies.

Second was visiting Academicus Atelier, and finding this gem in my neighborhood that catered to expat mamas like me. I felt saved, invited to a haven where I could meet other mothers, with our babies for company.

Third was ordering a couple of nursing items from an Instagram brand called Little Ducky UK. As I fiddled with the silicone beads of my nursing necklace from them, I thought, what joy this small product for mothers and babies has given me. Could I be part of something like that too?

But where was I to begin?

Did I need to start from scratch all over again and come up with a cool baby product?

I had already made a career shift five years ago, leaving behind a whirlwind life in front of cameras to submerge myself in the quiet writing life. I had needed the space to nurture a troubled marriage and give myself a wide berth to invite the baby we’d been wanting for years.

Why abandon something I had just begun? Why not stick with it?

I began sharing my initial thoughts with a handful of friends, and one idea to start a mommy blog sparked something in me. I pulled at that thread and researched what mom blogs were out there, the best of them. There were many that appeared in my search, all from the USA. Was there a voice for a Filipina expat mom living in Europe? Somewhere in my reflections, I was beginning to find my mama voice. It was not much different from the writer I was developing into, just a new aspect of that.

I asked the World Wide Web what the best blogging platforms were, and I heard about Medium. That led me to an article about writing that suggested that blogging was not the best way to go, as no one would ever find my blog.

Medium focused on writing and readership, providing me with a community of readers — that sounded appealing.

This piece was written and edited while baby napped on my lap. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but in working on this, I found joy.